Have you noticed that society measures how well people, adults and children, are doing by comparing them to others? This is done in work, in school, in sports, with performance evaluations, standardized tests and sports tryouts. We are constantly challenged with opportunities to determine how we stack up, but why do we seize these opportunities on a regular basis? Why not check within ourself and use our internal, intuitive gage that takes into account individuality, strengths, weakness and overall inner make up. Why not ask yourself:
Am I happy? Is my child happy?
Am I doing the best I can? Is my child doing the best they can?
Do I/ they find contentment, joy or passion in what we are doing?
Am I balanced, or is the scale tipped in one direction?
It is easy, and natural, given societal norms, to make comparisons among ourself and our children. It is natural, more so for some than others, to be competitive, (something I am taking a look at within myself). But, it is the comparison to others that can lead to negative feelings about self, our accomplishments and our overall life. It keeps us from checking in with our self, being kind to ourself and from being content with enough.
I look at my four boys. They are completely different beings with different personalities, shapes, strengths and challenges. I, too, have gotten caught up, at times, with comparing them to each other, but it is like comparing apples and oranges- both fruits, but completely different texture, taste, and inner make up. I wish schools would take on this concept and look at the “Whole Child”, each coming to the school basket as a different fruit. SImple words used in my school district elementary schools “Core Values” sets a tone for “stacking up” and comparisons. One school uses the word “achievement” and the other “effort” to convey similar concepts, but with different “vibes” and attitudes. One insinuates comparison, and negativity, or failure with “achievement” and another conveys a bit more positive vibe, hopeful and more individualized- “effort”. I know this is semantics, but WORDS ARE POWERFUL!
The words we use in speaking to each other and to our self are crucial to peace of mind and wellbeing. In the diet industry- one that focuses on comparison, “do you want to look like this?”, we have “don’t” and “shouldn’t” lists of foods, which makes us “cheat” or feel like a failure is we indulge. All are negative words that can create negative energy and a feeling of deprivation or lack of success. I encourage making intuitive choices based on what you body wants, what is going on with you and your environment and how your body feels. Get rid of “should/ shouldn’t “, check in with your self and pay attention to YOU.
Although comparisons can be beneficial or useful at time, like to ensure people are doing the work they need to be doing, or getting help if overwhelmed, or create a benchmark for general equality of opportunity as well as educational standards, we tend to get caught up in numbers instead of the big picture. If we start to drift away from comparison, we will start to go within our self for answers. We will strive towards health and balance and contentment vs. being at the top, or being skinny/fat, being firm/ jiggly, being on the A team or B team, etc. JUST BE. Put your blinders on, stop comparing and check in with yourself. Try not to get caught up in how you or those around you stack up… NO Judgment, NO Comparison, JUST BE!
Something therapeutic about stacking rocks. Found these on Greenbelt Hike.
BUTTERFLY FAMILY WELLNESS FALL OFFERINGS:
REIKI level 1/2 attunement- 4 hour Saturday workshop (email if interested)
HOLISTIC HEALTH COUNSELING
*HEALTHY BAKING WORKSHOP- Wed. October 16, 9-11 am, . (Find out how to cut fat and sugar in yummy muffins and cookies. How to bake gluten free.)
FALL OFFERINGS: (Classes start September 9th)
Spin Core- MONDAY 7:30pm (STARTS OCTOBER 21st)
Quick HIIT- 30 Minute TABATA workout- TUESDAY 6am
Total Body Bootcamp – FRIDAY 8:45am
Teen Bootcamps- TUESDAY and/ or THURSDAY, 3:30pm
Call or email to sign up or get more information.
“The Invitation” By Oriah Mountain Dreamer, (an Indian Elder)
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source life from God’s presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver moon “YES!”
It doesn’t interest me where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
QUICK HIIT Sampler
Warm up for 5 minutes.
Do each exercise for 20 seconds, rest between for 10 seconds. Go as hard as you can for each 20 second interval. Repeat twice through.
– squat thrust/ burpee with push up.
– mountain climbers
-travel push up (push up , plank move to right, push up, plank move to left etc.)
-side, v up rolls. (v up angled to right, roll to other side, v up on other side, roll over to side)
quick HITT… ENJOY!